children’s ministry

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Making Children’s Church Better – Rules Part 3

Posted by Jamie Doyle on February 5, 2016
Posted in: children's church, Discipline. Tagged: , , , .
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Enforce the Rules By Keeping the Kids Engaged

Want some harsh but honest criticism? Read on… if you’re feelings are easily hurt, then skip down to the next point and take the chance that you will still have issues with children following the rules.

You’re still here. Ok, ready?

Don’t be boring.

…sometimes kids behave the way they do because they are bored and disengaged with what’s happening around them. Be a more exciting teacher, storyteller, announcement person, offering presenter, welcome guy, etc. Whatever your segment is, make it as fun, interesting and/or exciting as you can.

Recognize children who follow the rules

It’s not enough to just point-out to a child that they’re being naughty. You can often times change the atmosphere and give the rest of the audience reason to suddenly sit-up, sit still, listen, smile, etc. It’s called recognition. And it works. Every kid wants to earn an “A”… every kid wants to be noticed for doing good. When I sense there seems to various children chatting with each other and squirming about. I start my segment by “noticing” a child and making a big deal about their behavior:

“Hey everyone look over here at Chloe! Chloe, you are doing such an great job sitting up and paying attention. I love how you do that… you’re an amazing kid.”

Suddenly, every kid will want to meet your expectation.

Offer incentives from time to time.

Incentives have often times been misinterpreted as “bribes”. Perpetuating the statement: “I don’t want to bribe the kids to behave.” I understand…

…but, a bribe is defined as a payment offered to someone to do or allow something evil.

I define an incentive as a reward. I love to reward kids. But, I don’t offer incentives every time I teach children. You would need to decide for yourself if you should ever offer rewards… what those rewards should be… and how often would a reward be offered.

I enjoy giving out rewards that relate to our series. We did a back to school series – we gave away various school supplies and the kids loved it as equally as when we did an entire series that used a different kind of candy each week so we gave away that particularly kind of candy. We didn’t always just hand it to kids who were well behaved. Sometimes, you could be chosen to answer the review questions or play the review game and we would reward the players of the game. You might consider reserving prizes for special days or when you realize after a few weeks of children not paying attention, you need and incentive to offer to kids who are engaging in the service.

Focus on Ministry More than the Rules

It should go without saying – you’re there to pastor the kids, not be an enforcer. The rules, like any teaching method, should only help enhance the ministry that’s already taking place in your service. I like kids to know I’m firm, but fun… fair and even flexible. I would rather just remind kids of rules and focus on teaching the Word of God.

Next time, (and I promise that part 4 will be last of the “rules” posts) I will give you some tips and ideas for those times when you need to enforce the rules or just remind kids of the rules while you’re still teaching. Thanks for all the great feedback during this series. Please share on Facebook and Twitter – and please comment.

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Discipline Issues – Confronting Parents

Posted by Jamie Doyle on March 13, 2014
Posted in: children's church, Discipline, Family Ministry, Ideas, Parenting, Pastoring Children. Tagged: , , , , , .
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It’s inevitable – Parent Confrontation

If you haven’t had to do it in your children’s ministry yet, then there’s probably something wrong. It doesn’t happen every week, but it will be a regular occurrence if you have to deal with discipline issues. There are some important factors to consider when confronting parents and having to explain a discipline issue. After-all, you don’t want to be known as the minister who is constantly a negative bearer of bad news or unpleasant to deal with.

Here is a concise list of the things to keep in mind if and when you will have to confront parents about their child’s behavior and actions:

  • Be respectful.

  • Look into their eyes.

  • Remember they are the authority figure in their child’s world.

  • Be clear and concise – explain what rules have been violated and the actions already taken.

  • Do yourself a favor ahead of time: have clearly communicated policies and rules in the classroom that both the child and parent are ALREADY aware of.

  • Be willing to offer an exception if it’s obvious the rules/policies were not known ahead of time.

  • Be forgiving, showing mercy and grace – Be willing to offer another chance.

  • Have a plan for moving forward with the child – If is this just a warning: what will the plan for the future be should we have trouble in the next few weeks?

  • Ask the parents to help you know what to do if the issue(s) ever surface again.

  • Pray a positive prayer over the Parent(s) and child before they leave.

  • Follow-up with the parent and the child later in the week.

What would you add to the list?

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Bring It To Life – Part 2

Posted by Jamie Doyle on August 8, 2012
Posted in: children's church, Creativity, Excellence, Gospel Magic, Ideas, Presentation/Performance Ideas. Tagged: , , , , , .
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Memorize It

Knowing what you’re doing is different than planning what you’re doing. Again, you can start collecting your ideas and putting together all the stuff to make the service a success. But, if you don’t know WHAT you’re doing in the moment… it can create a moment of confusion, embarrassment or the sense from the audience that you aren’t prepared for them.  Even though, some of these items may be similar to the earlier section on Preparation… this list really is really all about “knowing” your service.  Memorization in a kids service has very little to do with knowing each service word-for-word or action-for-action – it has more to do with knowing the details enough to keep things moving along for so the audience will stay focused for maximum ministry results.

  • Know and be able to quote the main scripture – you’ll want to reference back to it during your teaching times.
  • Know and be able to quote the main idea or key point you want the kids to walk away with… you can’t get something into a kids world until it’s in you’re first.
  • Make and use a schedule of the service – As I mentioned in the last post, I prefer Planning Center Online. It gives you ways to schedule each item in your service and assign it a time. You can also use it to schedule team members for each item.
  • Outline your stories, object lessons, gospel magic routines, illustrative sermons and even skits. It’s not necessary to have it all memorized word-for-word. But if you know the main points and can elaborate on them, you’ll be more confident as you teach.
  • When doing an illustrative sermon or when many props and visuals are being used in one service, put them in order of their use on your table, in your box or from left to right on the stage or presentation area.
  • Make your team aware of what props and visuals you are using so those items don’t get touched, moved or end up getting put away before the service starts (I’ve had it happen).
  • Put a bookmark in your Bible where the main Bible story is found. Mark the passage with a highlighter or red pen… You ARE opening your Bible with the kids and having THEM read Bible stories with you – aren’t you?
  • Make sure everyone understands their cues for their parts. Music cues, key words, graphics on the screen or knowing that “…immediately after such-and-such happens…”, is when the next person needs to be walking on stage will help keep transitions smooth.
  • It helps to have a rehearsal with others involved, even if it’s just a walk-thru of each thing happening in your service.
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Bring It To Life – Part 1

Posted by Jamie Doyle on August 7, 2012
Posted in: children's church, Creativity, Teaching Tips. Tagged: , , , .
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It begs the question: Whatever happened to Preparation A thru G?

Children’s Church Services/KidMin Large Group Times are my passion. So, in an effort to help you do a better job, or inspire you to go to a new place with your Children’s Church Services, I’ve decided to start a posting on what will bring your services to life. In this series, I’ll not only give you practical advice… but, I’ll also tip my hand as the the “stuff” I use to make it all happen:

Prepare

  • Read Your Curriculum or Lesson/Sermon Materials Early in the Week
  • Read the main scripture
  • Read the supporting scriptures
  • Know or come up with a main phrase the kids will know when they walk out
  • Pray for guidance
  • Start a creativity file for each lesson and start filling it with ideas and resources you come across – http://kidology.org and http://CMConnect.org are great places to find resources, ask questions and get input from KidMin leaders all over the globe!
  • Outline your topic and put together a service schedule Planning Center https://www.planningcenteronline.com is perfect as it has a way to add times to each event in your service schedule. They even have a free version so you can try it out with your team.
  • Meet with everyone involved in the service and make sure they are all on the same page – http://Dropbox.com is a good way to share information with your team and http://www.nozbe.com works well as a project management with a team of people.
  • Prep multi-media – I swear by ProPresenter for presentation Software http://www.renewedvision.com/propresenter.php and even Keynote for Mac is pretty robust if I couldn’t afford ProPresenter.
  • Prep print materials
  • Gather props and visuals and put them where they are needed for the service
  • Rehearse with the appropriate people
  • Make adjustments
  • Set up your room
  • Remember – The service starts the moment the kids walk in
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The KidMin Networking Why’s

Posted by Jamie Doyle on June 19, 2012
Posted in: Encouragement, Ideas, Networking. Tagged: , , , .
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I like to network with KidMins… Why?
Well, I’m glad you asked.

Relationships Are Thicker Than Puppets

You may run out of money, forget about the lesson ideas you once had, damage equipment or download a virus… But the relationships will still be there. Because of those relationships, you will be encouraged. You will rub shoulders with veterans and the young, “hungry” kidmins alike. You will invest into their ministries, in turn, expanding your influence as well.

We Each Got Stuff The Other One Wants

Sometimes when I need a resource I don’t own, can’t afford or that’s not available anymore, I have a resource library spread all over my town. It’s called “Other Church’s Supply Closets”. So many times I can make a few calls or send an e-mail about that curriculum that’s no longer published or a prop I don’t want to drop $300 to use for one weekend… and more often than not, someone has what I need, sitting in their supply closet at church. (Just be careful that you are not making illegal copies or breaking the law if the original buyer has the right to use the resource in only his or her own church only).

Everything I’ve Ever Needed To Know, I Learned From Other Kidmins

I don’t have all of the answers, and neither do you. But If I can surround myself with people who know stuff that I don’t, I will gain the knowledge of those who have “been there” and “done that”. Even if that Kidmin is younger than me or has been in ministry a shorter time, their environments and experiences will be vastly different than mine… and there are answers in that somewhere.

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Kenya – A KidMin Trip To Remember!

Posted by Jamie Doyle on April 17, 2012
Posted in: Evangelism, Ministry Update, Missions. Tagged: , , , , .
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For those who were in the know, I spent 10 days in  Kenya (with a few days of travel on each end of the trip). I’ve been on several overseas missions trips… but this one had an impact on my life that I won’t soon forget.

Our ministry team spent several days training children’s ministry leaders from all over Kenya. They came hungry and we did what we could to resource them and encourage them. In turn, they would all go back to their districts and train the children’s ministry leaders at the churches in their districts.

During our time there, we ministered in several schools. One school was over 2000 kids. The other 1500 and the smaller ones with 400. It was heart touching to see so many of those kids give their hearts to God. In one of the primary schools, our ministry team watched as four Muslim girls sat together near the front on the dirty concrete ground. When the salvation invitation was given, three of the Muslim girls sat with their arms crossed. But one of the four looked at her three Muslim friends, looked back toward the front and raised her hand. We watched as she prayed, along with hundreds of other kids, and asked Jesus into her life. She made a bold step… a bold step that has changed her life forever. The Head Master, or as we say, the principal, saw what she did and went and talked to her after the program. He is a strong believer himself. He confirmed that she would be disciplined if her parents were to ever find out.

Unlike public schools in the US, these schools not only allowed us to present a salvation message with an invitation for salvation, but they also helped us promote the outreach event we did in the evenings by inviting the school children to attend.  At those evening outreaches, we saw hundreds of kids attend and hundreds of kids respond to salvation!

I also had the privilege of ministering in one of the local children’s churches on the Sunday before I left the country – it was an amazing time. Many of the children from the school assemblies and the evening outreaches attended and we squeezed over 500 kids into a space made for 300 kids! Again, we saw many come to the Lord.

As I type this, I am also praying for the children and Children’s Ministry Leaders in Kenya – it is a place hungry for effective ministry to children.

OH – I’ll post pictures soon!

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If It’s Worth Doing, It’s Worth Doing Well If It’s Worth Doing At All

Posted by Jamie Doyle on October 27, 2011
Posted in: Excellence, Leadership, Quality, Vision. Tagged: , , , , .
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A very wise man in ministry recently told me this in regard to a conference we were both at.

How does this relate to what you do in KidMin:

  • Do you show up with half a lesson ready? Then, start prepping earlier in the week… or better yet – earlier in the month.
  • Do you show up with a “it’s just a few kids” attitude?  Then, see each child as an individual, spiritual being who has a destiny that you get to help shape.
  • Do you have old posters hanging in classrooms that have nothing to do with that unit of curriculum anymore? Then, throw them out and put the new ones up.
  • Do you have cluttered classrooms and environments? Then, have a clean-up day and get your teachers involved.
  • Do you have major repairs that are needed that would be obvious to a first-time visitor? If you don’t know, get a neighbor to walk thru your building and give you some feedback.
  • Do you have outdated curriculum rendering your storage/resource closets irrelevant because someone said, we should save this… just in case?  “Just in case” has come and gone my friend – buy a box of Hefty’s and get to work.
  • Do you use certain teaching methods that you like more then the kids actually like? Then stop and have some help evaluating how you teach kids – this is not about you.
  • Do you deliberately hold off on moving forward on the dream and vision God has given you for KidMin because of a lack of money? Then do the leg-work and communicate the vision so you give God and avenue to get you the resources to move forward.

Please do whatever you can to make these changes (and others)…
Because if KidMin is worth doing, it’s worth doing well if it’s worth doing at all.

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These Kids are Bored… Part 2

Posted by Jamie Doyle on August 10, 2010
Posted in: Creativity, Excellence, Leadership, The World of Kids. Tagged: , , .
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You’re Not Really HEARING me!

Everything a kid tells you is important. You may not think it’s important, but to that kid, at that moment, it’s the most important thing in their world.

We as adults have, over time, developed a filter called: “THE STUFF IMPORTANT TO ME” filter. And we react accordingly. If someone tells you something that is interesting to YOU – YOU naturally react with genuine interest. YOU react with attention. YOU react because you actually care.

But when someone tells you something that you have no interest in, you may try to react as though you care – because you don’t really want to offend the person trying to tell you something. But you’re not really listening, are you?

When that child walks up to you and shows you his loose tooth… this is a big deal – no wait! It’s a BIG DEAL! When she tells you that it was her birthday yesterday… it’s a BIG DEAL! When a kids tells you that his family is taking him on vacation to “Happy World”, it’s a BIG DEAL! When she explains that her dog is lost… it’s a BIG DEAL. When they point to their new shoes… it’s a BIG DEAL. Should I go on?

How many times have you had one of these experiences to only usher that child to his seat and tell him politely that he can tell you later? After all, it’s time to start class, right.

To a child, you may be the most important person in their life that needs to know this information. Your reaction will determine their significance at that very moment in THEIR WORLD.

Are you really listening?

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What’s This All Really Worth?

Posted by Jamie Doyle on February 17, 2010
Posted in: Budgets, Leadership, Management. Tagged: , , .
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With the economy in the shape that it’s in, no doubt, many churches are feeling the squeeze. I am in no way in doubt of what God can and will do.  He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  Besides, His economy is different than ours.  In other words: God doesn’t really have an issue with money… but, He knew that WE WOULD.  That’s why the scripture talks so much about money and finances – the dangers, the benefits and our responsibility.

Let me state that I will continue to put my trust in Him that He will meet all of my needs – even my financial needs in ministry.  As a matter of fact: I believe that God is in the business of prospering His people with the very things they need.

However, this should not be license for me to throw money, with little, to no caution, at every problem that arises. Nor do I have the right to continue to make frivolous purchases without considering their impact on my budgets and ministries.  God still calls me to be a steward of what has been handed to me.

This really is the key to God supplying my every need and giving me an abundance of what I need: Stewardship.

Something significant that I am currently sharing with my staff is the real “defined” value of each purchase.  I talk about it in this way:

Let’s assume – for the time being – that we are serving in a church, where those who give, are giving a true tithe (don’t argue with me on the tithe – you don’t have a fighting chance!).  If this is the case and you are given a monthly budget of $1,000 for a particular ministry or program – that $1,000 really has a value of $10,000. Get the picture?  That $1,000 represents 1 third to 1 fifth of someone’s yearly income. OR… looking at it in a monthly perspective, 3-4 people had to work a full-time job all month just so we would have this money available to us.

What are the lessons here?  Not in any particular order:

First: Get the stuff you need – I mean, you have to operate somehow

We have to assume that church-goers understand that basic supplies are needed and simple bills must be paid in order to maintain a church.  If you need a supply and it maintains your ministry, there really should be no question about it.  Just find the best deal and roll like that.

Second: Plan ahead and look in every nook and cranny

Perhaps God has already met your needs in ministry and now it’s up to you to search for it.  Seek and you will find, means that you look until you get the answer. Don’t throw money at a problem where pre-planning, creativity, team brainstorming, empowering volunteers and looking at the resources you already have could help fix it.  Make a resource list of what is currently on hand and make it available so your ministry team knows what’s available. Be a good steward of what you have now and God can add to it.

Third: Do what you can until the finances come in… this is a form or stewardship!

God knows what He want’s to do in your ministry and He’s not bound by finances.  Dream big and let God show you how you’re gonna finance it.  Plan, calculate, talk it up and do what you can and He will meet you there.

Fourth: Spend it on paper first

This is the basic rule of thumb for any budget.  Dream, dream, dream and then write, write, write.  Show yourself, your spouse, your pastor, the board, and the Holy Spirit that you have a good plan for the finances that you will be entrusted with.

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